It happened Today. A friend of mine gave me a call and said that he wanted to end his life. Yes he said that he wanted to ‘committ suicide’.
‘What the hell!’ I shouted to this, rather spontaneously.
‘Because It is hell… I want to give it up!’ he responded.
‘Have you made up your mind?’ I questioned.
‘Yes’ he said, though without conviction.
No he wasn’t joking. His voice said me that he was desperate and saddened.
‘Well… If you have made up your mind… why did you call me?’ I asked.
‘Because… I wanted to say you bye!’ he expressed his reason for embarking on this call.
‘So say bye and keep going.’ I suggested jokingly.
‘It’s not joke…’ he busted with anger, adding ‘I am serious!’
‘Do you want some sort of counseling from me?’ I queried.
‘I don’t know’ he said.
‘Ok so agree, at the least, that you are confused.’ I pleaded.
‘Yes, certainly pal.’ He agreed, with a sad tone.
‘What happened?’
‘The girl I loved said that she is not comfortable with me… Says she is hurt in my company… Says that she feels suffocated… Admits that she doesn’t appreciate me anymore… What shall I do?’ he rather questioned before beginning to shed his tears.
‘Don’t you cry’ I suggested.
‘What else do you expect me to do?’
‘Why don’t you read a good book or listen to a wonderful song?’
‘Common… I am in no mood… I have lost my reason to live.’ He admitted as if the Armageddon is banging at his door.
‘Ok tell me exactly what happened?’
‘You see I am looking for a partner for a long time now. I am almost getting 30 now. I am feeling so lonely. I met a good lady a few days back on net… and had been to her place to see her. After having met me her, her love vanished in the thin air. She was acting as if I was a matter of exclusive disgust. I am lost completely. I loved her so much. And she never admitted that to me… even once. Now she is not speaking to me properly…’
He was really hurt. The reason was good enough for me to laugh at… but was not so with him. He was devastated, and completely. I could feel his heart and suffer those tears. For a person who never loved loneliness that was something phenomenal loss. The same was certainly my case few years before, though, to be honest.
I wanted a way to console him, ‘but how?’ was the million-dollar question.
I asked him to hold on with life, but was to be of no use. He was completely saddened.
Then I asked him to close his eyes. He was reluctant, at the first instance, but somehow I made him to comply.
‘Ok done… now what?’ he asked after having closed his eye lids.
‘Imagine the most important person in your life?’
‘She was the one and only’ he responded
‘Good… but who was it before she came into your life?’
‘I can’t remember…’ he said reluctantly.
‘Try to recall the person who was so important to you. With whom you loved to spend you time. Who cared for you so much that you could never repay?’
‘Well, it was Terry.’ He said. Terry was his dog of Pekinese breed.
‘Good… now tell me why did you felt so sad that you decided to committ suicide?’
‘You see Mahesh, I loved her so much. She knew it. Even if I was looking silly in the first place, she should have given me a chance. I loved her after all!’ he asserted desperately.
‘Ok… now tell me… when did you last spent time with your dog?’
‘A few days… or… probably a month ago…’ He replied.
‘Does Terry love you?’
‘Of course she is so caring and loving…’
‘Does she come to you as you are back from office… even now?’
‘Yeah… you know it right… she comes with a ball asking for me to play with her.’
‘When did you last play with her?’
‘No idea buddy…’
‘Come on… work on your memory…’
’25 days before or something…’
‘Didn’t Terry come to you in those days pleading to play with her?’
‘She did?’
‘Didn’t she come today?’
‘Yes she did…’
‘Why are you feeling so sad that you want to commit the suicide?’
‘You have the answer Mahesh, already… Why do you ask it again and again?’
‘Ok let me know if it’s true or false: You are sad because you feel that the girl you loved so much did not respond to you love. You loved her so much that you forgot everyone…’
‘Yeah… sort of… But I don’t agree when you say “…You forgot everyone.”’ He replied
‘You did… my friend… you did’ I asserted.
‘No I can’t trace at all.’ he responded.
‘Try… I have already given you the clue.’
‘Oh yes! how did I forget her? Thank you buddy! Thanks a ton!’ He exclaimed before terminating the call.
‘That poor dog was always longing for him and loved him so much. A pet that was so dedicated to him and yet he couldn’t see a being loving and caring for him. What a pity?’ I thought for myself.
How often do we find in papers news of youths committing suicide? Most of the time the case is of a ‘failed love’. They commit this act for they think as if the world has come to an end for them, after having turned down by their girl friend (or boy friend). They are so lost in the expectations, of having the girl (or boy), that they forget all those who care and love them so much; their parents, their friends, relatives or even pets.
‘Is that why we admit “Love is Blind!”?’ Perhaps.
By the way I am sure that this man would not have committed suicide. Yet I was happy simply because I could help him to find his happiness, which was at his arm’s length. Before I forget let me put this across: We don’t always get what we love and expect. We don’t get all that we struggle for. And because we don’t we are humans. If we could do it would be to love, or at the least, appreciate that we already have. We always spend our time counting the curse, have we spent time to count the blessings? Spend some time to retrospect.
U Mahesh Prabhu | December 6, 2007 | indiamahesh@gmail.com
