It was a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon in Mangalore. I was along with my friend at one of the city’s historical landmark – Sultan Battery. Built in the 18th century by the Tiger of Mysore, Tippu Sultan, Sultan Battery was a naval outpost with a clear objective of checking any naval invasion through Gurpur River, on whose bank it stood.
While we walked up the stairs of the outpost we watched 2 young couples sitting on the walls of the tower having some intimate discussions in Konkani. As I was conversing with my friend in English in my accent that is close to British, they might have easily mistook of mine not being a Konkani.
Even in the hot sunny afternoon there was a cool breeze which I enjoyed very much and, thus, asked my friend as to would he love to spend some sitting on the walls of the tower. He agreed and we were on the walls overlooking the river. We were so mesmerized with the breeze and the serene environment that we abstained from any conversation. It was a pleasant experience. A couple of minutes later, I found myself concentrating on the conversation that was taking place between two young couples, I had mentioned above. They were talking in Konkani, the language which is incidentally my mother tongue.
Both were in their teens and were very good looking. They were having rather very intimate talks, which according to me is extraordinary. The topic of their dialogue was diverse and it included almost everything about the male-female biological dynamics unto sexual intercourse.
‘Hey, Can you tell me something about menstrual cycle… now that I have told you about men’s sex biology?’ asked the young boy.
‘Come on… you don’t want to know about that!’ exclaimed the lady rather shyly.
‘Please… tell me no…’ he insisted rather dearly.
‘See there are two people sitting out there what they will think about me?’
‘You mean them? Come on how will they know they are talking in English in British accent. I am sure they can’t understand Konkani…. Now forget those idiots and answer my question.’
‘Hmm… Ok, we get what is called puberty. That is the cycle when a young girl is transforming herself into a woman.’
‘Interesting’ exclaimed the boy adding ‘go on’
‘I had this when I was ten. It was a hell experience. There is a lot of pain in the stomach. And there was a bleeding in the vagina. Oh god! I can’t simply explain what was happening. After that cycle we get what is known as menstrual cycle. It is simply speaking flow of blood from vagina. And there is also a certain presence of pain. We aren’t expected to go for swimming… but you know there is now something available like cap which you have to put on it.’
‘Oh my god!’ exclaimed the young boy ‘a cork?’
‘Shut up! I will not tell you anything. You make faces which I don’t like.’ she said in a rather disgusted voice.
‘Come on sweetheart’ he pleaded.
‘No way’ she was determined not to speak about her feminine attributes to him.
‘Ok… shall I ask something else?’ the boy queried.
‘Other than this’ was the condition of the lady
‘As you wish’ he nodded. ‘Are you a virgin?’ having asked the question there was a ‘pin drop’ silence. Then there was a blast of their laughter.
‘Come on… tell me no?’ he pressed for an answer.
‘You tell me first’ she insisted
‘Ahem… what do you think?’ he sought her opinion.
‘No way’ she insisted adding ‘I know you had your first affair with Najma and second was with her buddy Annet’.
‘How do you know that?’ ‘Just like that’ ‘Come on, tell me now…’
‘Why should I?’
‘Hey!’ he shouted saying further ‘are you a lesbian?’
‘Shut up ok… I’m straight’
‘No you are’
‘I am not’
‘Yes you are’
‘No way… I had sex with males 30 times’ said the lady in a bust of anger.
‘There you go’ said the boy in a canny attitude.
‘Only 30 times is it? You are just 18 now!’ enquired the boy.
‘How much did you have my Casanova?’ she asked
‘Five…’ he responded.
‘What only five? What’s the matter? Are you some sort of impotent or something?’ she busted with loads and loads after laughter.
‘Come on… I was to say five less to half century!’
‘What nonsense? No way could you do that!’ she intrigued
‘I’ve did it already…’ he confirmed with a sense of pride.
‘You are just 19 years old man!’
‘When did you have your first sex by the way?’
‘I must have been 15 or 16. Now you tell me when was yours? With whom did you had your first mate with?’ asked the boy
‘Hmm… He was my senior in college.’
‘And where did you had your first affair… your parent’s don’t even allow you to go out at night?’
‘Who says you need to have sex only at night? God was so kind for us to have no season or a specific time. I had it on one of the Sundays… We had it in a hotel bed… on the outskirts of the city…. Ok that was mine… when was yours?’
‘Did you pay for it?’
‘Yes you did’
‘No… The lady was elder to me… she stays next to my house… I just had to jump over the wall you see’
Before he could say a word more my mobile began to ring. It was a call from my friend. He asked me ‘Kashi asss?’ in Konkani (meaning: How are you?). ‘Tu sanga’ I said (meaning: you tell me.) Listening to my voice they both panicked and started to run. I was burst to laughter when I saw these two young ‘Sex-Maniacs’ running. They simply hadn’t expected me to be a Konkani at all.
That was for the story. I have not recalled it with intent of making it a matter of laugh, but with intent of informing those parents who intend to keep a strict vigil on their children. Many Mangalorean parents are still unaware of the truth that virginity is a fast growing scarcity among the youth. What I had overheard is certainly a small piece of big information.
You are the parent and know the responsibility. What you do with this is your business. You are happy of them loosing their virginity, or not, is a matter of your concern and only you can address that well. Our Mangalorean culture, be it Hindu, Muslim or Catholic, does not appreciate this for a good reason. If you know the reason well, take some pain to take up the matter with your kids. They aren’t innocent. They can’t be innocent in considering the present context. They understand everything about sex to the best of my knowledge. Only thing if they don’t really know is ‘As to why shouldn’t they loose their Virginity?’ Perhaps, you could help them better to understand and also realize.
As a journalist my responsibility, personally, morally and professionally, is to inform the people of the things that are happening. And I believe I have done my part, of informing the parents, through this article. Wish you would do your part, and well.
The author is Executive Editor of Aseema: Journal for National Resurgence